The Audition

This is the story of man who can’t begin to think or question why the unfathomability of all that is good or bad is even comparable to the unending nothing or why the chances are slim or why one would even try and change or what needs changing and how it can even be possible to see the entirety; the plusses and negatives, pros and cons, arguments and counter arguments, or is it even in those terms and if so how and what can be done; about right and left, religion, greed, altruism, nature or what is our nature and why can’t there be more than one, how many times have people been over the ins and outs, the ups and downs, the circular - back to the began; is there more than one person (me?) who thinks this and if so would it be rude and why would it be, why can’t one talk to those dead souls on the train and if one can what would they say (speak souls speak!) would they make their excuses and leave, is there any excuse good enough or what is important to him or her and her and him, if it’s important at all then why no talking, in the deep moments, full of solemnness, why is that so much different to the club and dub and beats and lust and sweat and booze and drugs and smoke, is that what people want, would you choose to (if you had the choice) and if so does that mean we are all the same as the one who thinks it’s good to gratify and solidify urges and splurges of cash… what is this thing that makes me stand in the rain, that makes me wipe water from my eyes, that makes me scorn at loved ones, why did I love her, did she make me happy, what happy, I was miserable surely, but where am I going and if it’s where, I think, is it worth the trouble to go to uni, to learn the ways, the papers, the mortgage, the nice areas, the movies, the coffee, the art installations, the 5 yearly vote for him or him or the other one, do they have human conversations, punctuating with the telly remote hand, speaking of the values and dignity and freedom but does it translate to the world and if it does why can’t I see it when others can? Why are they all the way over there, and I here; encased away, folding inwards from all the life that permeates the edges of my feeling and vision and…

On second thoughts, this man may not be very good company. 

Move along now. 

Artwork: The Audition, by Maureen Monteath

by Stephen Durkan


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