F is for Fog
The Fog for me best describes what happens when I can’t think of the
words. I’ve had an idea for a story or
the next part of my novel. Quite often
it starts during half sleep. The time
after dreaming and before you become fully conscious. It’s when the story I’ve
been mulling over slips in there and for a while appears to be complete and
beautifully written. But then I get up and sit in front of the computer screen
and there’s nothing. A grey mist descends and out of the corner of my eye I see
the unopened post that hasn’t been dealt with. I suddenly remember the invoices
I have to send to get paid.
When
I’m working - when someone is paying me to be creative and full of fresh ideas
- there isn’t a cloud in the sky. Weather fronts are clear and the day is full
of glorious sunshine. It may not be the best thing I’ve ever written but
knowing it has to be finished and submitted by a certain time is a great
motivator. So why the fog when I’m writing for myself, when I sit down to
continue with the novel I’m working on? How best to describe the demon that
stops me from getting on with it? There’s the twinge in my shoulder. Too much
working on a lap top - obviously. I need
to exercise, maybe it’s really bad and will end my writing career?
Don’t get me wrong, the Fog has its uses. I get other things done. At
times the bathroom has never been cleaner, the bedroom cleared out and all my
hand-washing dealt with. I read the books that I haven’t got round to yet and I
dream up work projects. But then I get a fog about those when I have to sit
down and write them up into proposals. So if I call myself a writer and love
writing, why at times is it impossible to sit down and put one word after
another? And what’s the cure to get rid of the fog?
I’ve come to the conclusion that every writer has their own version
of the grey mist. And there are times when even authors I look up to experience
this. It’s one of those questions I ask whenever I’m at book events. What do
you do when you can’t write? Most say they write anyway even if it’s nonsense. I’ve
just spent half an hour hunting for a short story which illustrates this. In
that time, I found a letter from my uncle which I have to reply to and post,
which reminded me I haven’t actually booked flights to go and see him in a
couple of weeks. I’ve come back to the computer and had to stop myself from looking
up flights.
The story is ‘No Love Songs’ by Charles Bukowski in his collection,
Septuagenarian Stew: Stories and Poems. It starts off as a letter to his editor
explaining why he hasn’t met a deadline. Beginning with excuses a story unfolds
about the misadventures and distractions he encounters on his way to renew his
driving licence. It’s taken me the best part of a couple of days to find the
story. Every time I sat down to write I’d think about it and start to hunt for
it again.
Another great Scottish-based writer said sit down and write 500 words
off the top of your head. A way of getting warmed up. I need to go and look up
who this was but that would drag me away from the task at hand. Here at my
table I can see the grey mist starting at the left hand corner of my living room
window, waiting to spread. Or maybe it’s just dirt.
Pauline Moore
It's great to have days of 'no fog' but I empathise, sympathise and totally understand the- where did those ideas go? - syndrome. Write, write, write, regardless of progress isn't always productive - and, yet, too long away from a project isn't great either. What's a writer got to do? :-)
ReplyDeleteI worry that I have become too reliant on my thesaurus when that fog descends and the words won't come - is it a vicious circle? If I don't try and push through it myself will that part of my brain atrophy and never learn to find the words itself?
ReplyDelete